One of my favorite authors, John Bradshaw, is a brilliant and inspiring guy who addresses the human condition and provides insight into what ails us. Here's a passage that I have been thinking about:
" We are taught to be nice and polite. We are taught that these behaviors (most often lies) are better than telling the truth. Our churches, schools and politics are rampant with teaching dishonesty (saying things we don't mean and pretending to feel ways we don't feel). Smile when we feel sad, laugh nervously when dealing with grief, laugh at jokes we don't think are funny, tell people things to be polite that we surely don't mean." This was from the titled Bradshaw On: The Family.
I must say I have worked hard for congruency between my inner and outward self. That means I have been accused of being mean.... a price one pays for clarity of mind and soul.
Grab some of his books... they will knock you off your socks.